Russ Meyer, king of sleaze and Ebert, always amused by it.

Ebert was hired to write the screenplay to Who Killed Bambi, which was to be the film debut of the Sex Pistols.  He recalled meeting with the Sex Pistol manager Malcolm McLaren and singer Johnny Rotten, and noting with some amusement that Rotten seemed shocked that director Russ Meyer wasn’t intimidated by his piercings, hair or demenour.  Somehow, the meeting degenerating into Meyer (a WWII vet) yelling at Rotten that, “We won the Battle of the Bulge for you!”and Ebert finding that very funny since a) the US wasn’t involved in the Battle of the Bulge and b) Rotten was Irish.

Ebert and Meyer ended up giving Rotten a ride home.  On the way, Rotten complained that McLaren was stealing all of their money, borrowed five pounds and made them stop so he could buy some beer and cans of baked beans.

I first started reading Ebert’s reviews in high school.  I was hanging out at a female friend’s house, hoping that our friendship would blossom into something more physical (it didn’t, a recurring theme for me when I was younger).  We were sitting on the couch in her TV room with a bunch of friends, and bored, I picked up the heavy paperback book on the coffee table– it was Ebert’s Film Compendium, back before the sheer volume of his reviews dictated an annual guide, and before even the technologically savvy Ebert had a website (he was still using CompuServe at that point, I believe).  I opened the book and began started flipping through the reviews and gradually lost interest in what was going on with my friends, immersed in his wit and his enthusiasm for movies.  He didn’t like every movie that others deemed important, and he even liked bad movies that entertained him (I’ll never forget how angry people were with his three star review of Congo (or his three and a half star review of Anaconda!)). 

Source

I borrowed the book and never returned it.  I still have it, the spine broken, pages falling out, every single review in it read and reread countless times.

His rule that a movie should be judged on what it was trying to do rather than its quality judged against the whole of film, really set a tone for me and how I view film.  To this day I’d rather watch Big Trouble in Little China than 2001: A Space Oddessy.  Just because something isn’t supposed to be high art doesn’t make it worthless.  Ebert liked to quote the late Pauline Kael :

Movies are so rarely great art, that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we have very little reason to be interested in them.

It was his yardstick in criticism, and it remains mine as well.

I wrote into one of his contests when I was in high school, and I am proud to say that one of the Google hits for me (come on, we’ve all googled ourselves) is my listings in one of his books as a runner up in the contest.  Here is a link to his obituary in the Chicago Sun-Times, a paper that he remained faithful to for 46 years.

RIP Rog.  I feel like I’ve lost a friend.  You taught me a lot about film, and about life.

If you haven’t done so, you should read his amazing essay “I Do Not Fear Death,” published in Salon.

Here’s his appearance with Gene Siskel on The Critic with Jon Lovitz, a show that was inspired by them both.  I figure it’s best to go out with a laugh.

Still.

The Manhattan is probably the most customizable of any famous cocktail recipe.  Unlike, say, a Vesper (“Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel.”) there is no set Manhattan recipe that’s always correct.  Different whiskeys, vermouths and bitters will change how the drink should taste, and will change your recipe accordingly.  And for once, however you like it is probably the right way (and you won’t hear me say that too often).

Wikipedia seems a little confused on the origin of the cocktail:

A popular history suggests that the drink originated at the Manhattan Club in New York City in the early 1870s, where it was invented by Dr. Iain Marshall for a banquet hosted by Jennie Jerome (Lady Randolph Churchill, Winston‘s mother) in honor of presidential candidate Samuel J. Tilden. The success of the banquet made the drink fashionable, later prompting several people to request the drink by referring to the name of the club where it originated—”the Manhattan cocktail”.^[4][5] However, Lady Randolph was in France at the time and pregnant, so the story is likely a fiction.^[6]

The original “Manhattan cocktail” was a mix of “American Whiskey, Italian Vermouth and Angostura bitters“.^[7][8] During prohibition (1920-1933) Canadian whisky was primarily used because it was what was available.^[9]

However, there are prior references to various similar cocktail recipes called “Manhattan” and served in the Manhattan area.^[5] By one account it was invented in the 1860s by a bartender named Black at a bar on Broadway near Houston Street.^[10]

An early record of the cocktail can be found in William Schmidt’s “The Flowing Bowl”, published in 1891. In it, he details a drink containing 2 dashes of gum, 2 dashes of bitters, 1 dash of absinthe, 2/3 portion of whiskey and 1/3 portion of vermouth.

Whatever the origin, it can generally be agreed on that the Manhattan cocktail is comprised of whiskey, sweet vermouth and bitters.  Like just about every cocktail I will ever help you to make, the ingredients matter as much or more than the preparation– i.e., as long as you put the right stuff in it, you stand less of a chance of messing it up.

What’s the right stuff?  Let’s go through the ingredients:

Whiskey

Everyone agrees that Manhattans are made with whiskey.  What type of whiskey is kind of up to debate.  The oldest iterations of the Manhattan are made with rye whiskey, which is drier and spicier than bourbon, which is also acceptable.  During Prohibition, Canadian whiskey was the brown liquor of choice, since it was easier to get than the others (at least in New York, I presume).

What kind of whiskey should you use?  I tend to steer away from Canadian whiskey personally– I find it too thin and weirdly sweet and sour to my palate and it mucks up the flavor profile of the Manhattan.  Choosing between rye or bourbon has a lot to do with your vermouth–if your vermouth is on the sweeter side, I’d go with rye.  Drier or more bitter vermouth?  Bourbon.  Got it?

Some good bourbons for Manhattans include but are not limited to:

• Buffalo Trace (my go-to inexpensive bourbon.  When in doubt, Buffalo Trace)
• Blanton’s
• Old Grand-dad 101
• George Dickel Barrel Select (not actually a bourbon, it’s a Tennessee whiskey, but close enough)

Some good ryes include (but are also not limited to):

• High West Double Rye (from Utah!  Go figure)
• Bulleit Rye
• Sazerac Rye
• Old Potrero (from San Francisco!)

Vermouth

This will start to sound redundant, but using bad vermouth will ruin your drink.  Using old vermouth will ruin your drink.  Don’t ruin your drink by neglecting your choice of vermouth.  Got it?  I don’t want to repeat the old lecture, but I’m going to:  If you’ve got a bottle of Stock or Martini & Rossi or whatever crap you bought at Trader Joe’s sitting with the booze on your shelf, dump it down the sink.  If the opened bottle has an inch of dust on it, dump it down the sink.  If it’s been sitting out unrefrigerated for more than a month, opened, dump it down the sink.

Keep your vermouth in the fridge.  If you can be bothered, use something like a Vac-U-Vin on it.  Vermouth isn’t a liquor.  It’s made of wine, and unlike a bottle of vodka, it has a shelf life once it’s opened.  Refrigerating it will extend that shelf life.

Vermouth generally isn’t expensive compared to other bar ingredients, and so it’s worth investing in the good stuff, because it’s still going to be inexpensive and will exponentially improve your drinks.  My approved list of sweet vermouth brands include:

• Punt E Mes
• Dolin
• Noilly Prat
• Vya
• Carpano Antica

With the exception of the Carpano Antica (the exception to the “Vermouth is cheap” rule.  Carpano retails for about $45, but is worth every penny if you can afford it), all of these are $16 or less, depending on where you live (Edit: Oh, wait, the Vya might be around $20ish).  All of these are good enough to drink on their own, and if it’s not good enough to drink on its own, why would you put it in your cocktail?

Bitters

This one is a lot easier.  When in doubt, just go for Angostura.  You probably already have that on your shelf anyway–if not, it’s by far the easiest to find.  I also like Fee Brothers Whiskey Barrel Aged Bitters, and there are a lot of other options out there if you want to have fun with it.  Start with any brand’s aromatic bitters and work out from there.  Your choice of bitters will influence your Manhattan, but will rarely ruin it.

How Much of What?

Unlike a lot of recipes, I can’t give you a specific amount of what to use when you’re mixing a Manhattan– it all depends on your ingredients.  A sweeter bourbon and a sweeter vermouth?  Less vermouth and extra bitters.  Rye and bitter vermouth?  More vermouth and less bitters.  Still, I know you want a recipe, so here’s a generally safe one, although adjust to your personal taste and ingredients.

Pre-chill a cocktail glass (a martini glass).  If you forgot to put one in the freezer, just fill one with ice cubes and water)

2 1/4 oz whiskey

3/4 oz sweet vermouth

2 dashes bitters

Combine in a pint glass.  Fill with ice.  Stir vigorously.  Strain into that chilled cocktail glass.  Garnish with a cherry.  Do not use a neon red maraschino cherry, those things are disgusting.  Use an amarena cherry if possible, a brandied cherry if not.  If you’re in a pinch and doesn’t have either of these, buy a can of pie cherries and use one of them, although make sure that that you’re not getting any of the syrup from the can.

Why stir and not shake?  Shaking introduces air bubbles to the mix– a Manhattan should be rich and somewhat oily, not effervescent.  Stir, my friends, stir.

Once you’ve mastered the Manhattan, you’ll realize that many, many cocktails are based off of it.  A few examples include:

• Rob Roy: Basically a Manhattan substituting Scotch for American whiskey
• Black Manhattan: Substitute Averna for the vermouth and use orange bitters instead or aromatic
• Venkman: (one of the first cocktails I ever came up with) 2.5 oz bourbon, .5 oz Luxardo Maraschino, orange bitters

The Manhattan is one of those drinks I think of as a skeletal system for cocktails.  Start swapping out ingredients and you have a whole new drink–it’s a really great and easy way to start inventing cocktails.  I’m not saying all substitutions will work, but you’d be surprised at what roughly two parts base spirit to one part sweeter liqueur plus bitters will yield you a pretty decent drink more often than not.

A final and important note:  Why serve a Manhattan up?  Shouldn’t it be served on the rocks?  Yes, a Manhattan can be served either way.  I personally feel that it is better experienced without ice cubes interfering with the sensation of drinking the cocktail but it is a totally appropriate way to serve one, and I do drink them this way occasionally.  It’s mostly a matter of preference, like just about everything with the Manhattan.  It’s really the most personal of cocktails.

Previously:

• How to Make an Old Fashioned
• How to Make a Martini

Rick James, Bustin’ Out (On Funk), 1979

Download: Bustin'%20Out%20(On%20Funk).mp3

I know. You’re just sitting there at your computer. Your right buttcheek has gone to sleep, and you’ve been leaning with your chin resting on your hand for so long that you have an angry red imprint of your palm on your cheek. You’re wasting company time, checking out your cellphone every six minutes in the hope that it is much closer to five o’clock than it was six minutes ago (which it is–it’s six minutes closer, but that’s not what you’re looking for). Your lunch break is already over, and now you have less than half of your day left, but that is still an eternity. Your coffee has gotten cold, but if you get up to get yet another cup, everyone will ask why you drink so much coffee. You’ve already sat in a stall in the restroom today, hiding from going back into the office. You can’t do that again.

You want to stand up at your desk, tear off your clothes and bust out. On Funk. Just like Rick James.

You open your top desk drawer to reveal a mountain of snow white cocaine. You bury your nose in it like you’re Scarface. You inhale deeply, as if you were drowning and you’ve just come up for air, but that air is made of Colombia’s finest. A mirror ball descends through the ceiling tiles, and the flickering fluorescent lights go dark. Your office is now illuminated by a million shards of multicolored light. Polyester. You’re wearing polyester now, and it’s a jumpsuit, and it’s slit down to your navel, and this is the only right way to be dressed.

You kick your desk aside– you are superhuman. You grab that foxy gal or guy who works three cubicles over from you and twirl them on to the dance floor. The fog machine has started. You are surrounded by the remainder of your officemates, all much more attractive than you remembered. They’re clapping for you. They’re cheering you on.

You are a god.

You have now Busted Out (On Funk), just like Rick James. And the end of the workday is just a little bit closer now.

…Huey Lewis & the News looked the the band your uncle started to play at the bar and grill down the street. Rather than play new wave or glam it out, they went a little further back, incorporating doo-wop and Stax and Motown with modern influences to create what is in my opinion the 80′sist band of them all. Who else came squarely between what your parents would have listened to and what your little brother or sister would have enjoyed?

Huey Lewis & the News were never cutting edge, and while they may have not been an innovative band, just try and find me someone who doesn’t secretly love “The Power of Love.” I’m sure if you can find such a person, they must either be a sociopath or a war criminal.

Additionally, Huey Lewis & the News are a lot more interesting that you would expect a band situated so squarely in the middle of the road to be. For instance:

4. The News Were the Attraction Before the Attraction

Before the News were the News, they were called Clover.  Formed in California, they recorded a few albums of psychedelia before moving on to country rock.  Not finding a ton of success, they relocated to England to become a part of the pub rock scene, a scene that directly lead into punk rock–one example being Joe Strummer, who later left his pub rock band The 101ers before forming the Clash.

There they found work playing with other bands.  Huey Lewis played harmonica with Thin Lizzy. making it on to their Live and Dangerous album, performing on the song “Baby Drives Me Crazy,” (he gets a shout out by singer Phil Lynott at 4:07 in the recording).

The rest of the band backed another singer on an album– you might have heard of him.  He was up and coming in 1977– his name was Declan MacManus– but he went by Elvis Costello.

That’s right– before he was backed by the Attractions, Elvis Costello was backed by the News (minus Huey Lewis).  That means songs like “Allison” and “Miracle Man” and “(The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes” are all performed by the News.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

3. Huey Lewis and the News Are an Academy Award Nominated Band

Back to the Future was an enormous hit in 1985.  I know you’ve seen it.  You’ve probably seen its two sequels as well.  Huey Lewis & the News contributed two songs to the soundtrack, “Back in Time,” and what would go on to be their most popular song (in my opinion at least) “The Power of Love,” with Lewis also making a cameo in the beginning of the film.

What you may not have known or remembered is that “The Power of Love was nominated for an Oscar that year.  It eventually lost to “Say You, Say Me,” by Lionel Ritchie from the film White Nights, but that puts the band in such illustrious company as Stevie Wonder, Burt Bacharach and the Three Six Mafia (who made my favorite Oscar acceptance speech ever.)

And that’s interesting, because the year before, their good friend Ray Parker, Jr. was nominated for the theme song to Ghostbusters.  Their friend?  I meant to say the guy who stole one of their songs for Ghostbusters.  So:

2. Ghostbusters is a Ripoff of “I Want a New Drug.”

If there is a movie more popular than Back to the Future, it has to be Ghostbusters.  I mean, come on, it’s basically a perfect movie.  It’s hilarious, had state of the art special effects, and Sigourney Weaver making out with Rick Moranis.  Perfect.

The theme song has become a part of the public consciousness.  Even thirty years later, if you say “Who are you going to call,” the immediate response from everyone who isn’t under ten years old is going to be “Ghostbusters!”  It’s catchy as hell…it’s just that…I dunno…it sure sounds a whole lot like “I Want a New Drug,” from the album Sports.

Listen to this mashup of them.

Apparently, the producers of Ghostbusters used “I Want a new Drug” as a scratch track while they edited the movie. Once it was finished, they tried to hire Huey Lewis to write a theme song to the movie.  When he refused, they brought in Ray Parker, Jr. and gave him the footage with the song to give him inspiration.

The band sued and later settled out of court.  On their Behind the Music special on VH-1, Lewis said

“The offensive part was not so much that Ray Parker Jr. had ripped this song off, it was kind of symbolic of an industry that wants something — they wanted our wave, and they wanted to buy it. … [I]t’s not for sale. … In the end, I suppose they were right. I suppose it was for sale, because, basically, they bought it.”

And then Ray Parker, Jr. sued him for breach of confidentiality.  What a dick.  Speaking of…

1. Huey Lewis is a BIG Rock Star.  The Biggest.

Notorious groupie Connie Hamzie spoke on VH-1′s “Lets Spend the Night Together” (along with other groupie luminaries such as Pamela Des Barres and Cynthia Plaster Caster) about her…experiences with her various conquests.  The smallest?  Peter Frampton (that’s not something I’d want the whole world to know, but if stories of Frampton are true, a lot of women already know this).  The largest?  Our man Huey Lewis.  No wonder he could look like your Dad and still have that swagger.

And as a Bonus…

Huey Lewis is the favorite of serial killers everywhere.

Edit: You’ll probably also want to watch this:

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/7x3r

Technically, this could have happened since I was alive in 1978, but I think letting an infant smoke and drink wasn’t permissible, even back in the heady days of the late 70s.

Anyway, the fact that this song follows “Baker Street” on City to City is one hell of a one-two punch.  Baker Street is an epic saxophone drenched mood poem about burning out in the city, and then you get the aftermath, the mai-tai on the patio, the belief that the love of a good woman can see you through even the darkest of nights.

So yeah, “Down the Line,” By Gerry Rafferty.  Kick back, light that cigarette (you’re still allowed to smoke everywhere in 1978) and raise that drink so the crimson red sun setting over the water.  It’s the best song ever, right now at least.

Gerry Rafferty, “Down the Line” City to City 1978

Download: Gerry%20Rafferty%20-%20Right%20Down%20The%20Line.mp3

For more of my work as a filmmaker, please check out man.cookie.dead.productions.

Doritoooooooooossss…

I mean, look at this:

Take a listen if you like creepy gospel music.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Unseen Hand

Source

Drinking vinegar? On purpose? Am I insane, or is it just because I live in Portland?

Believe it or not, drinking vinegars are delicious, non-alcoholic cordials that can be used to make cocktails, or consumed on their own (a little soda water definitely helps if you don’t want any booze in it). They may not be for everybody. They can be a bit on the sour side, but if you’re the type of person who likes kombucha, this might be right up your alley.

Click here to read more.

Drinking vinegars, or shrubs (go figure) have been around for a long, long time. From what I understand, they were made as far back as colonial America. What could you do back in those times with all of your extra fruit when you couldn’t consume it all? You didn’t have a freezer. Vinegars were a way to preserve their fruit and provide a bracing, delicious beverage that doesn’t really spoil.

Hey look, here’s a New York Times article about them.

And did I mention how easy they are to make? They’re really, really easy.

Here’s how to make it:

Take some berries. You don’t need nice, pretty ones. The ones that are kind of smushed that you don’t want to eat are perfect for this. You can use rasberries, strawberries, hell, not just berries, you can use peaches or watermelon or whatever strikes your fancy. Chop ‘em up and put them in some sort of covered bowl or tupperware. Cover with sugar. How much sugar? I go about 1:1 fruit to sugar. If you put too much in there it won’t dissolve, so go a little heavier than you might think. If your fruit is particularly juicy, maybe a little less.

Shake it up and leave it in the fridge. The sugar will pull out most of the liquid in the fruit. This is called macerating, and honestly it’s kind of like magic to me.

Okay, a day or two have passed and you’ve got a bowl full of gooey liquid and fruit. Strain the fruit out with the finest strainer you’ve got. You could probably use cheesecloth, too, but it’d make a mess.

Toss the fruit, or eat it. It’s pretty tasty.

Combine your liquid 1:1 with vinegar. I prefer champagne vinegar, but I hear others like apple cider, or other fancy types. Champagne vinegar doesn’t smell too great on its own, or taste very good, but when combined with the macerated fruit it’s just awesome.

That’s it. It’s easy!

Now, what can you do with this?

Drinking vinegar+soda water= yum. It’s non alcoholic but tastes enough like a cocktail that you might be fooled.

Here’s what I’m currently making at work:

The Luchadora

1 1/2 oz Lunazul Silver tequila
1/2 oz strawberry drinking vinegar
1/2 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
1/8 oz organic blue agave nectar

Combine these in a shaker.

source

Take some mint. Remove the stems. Slap the mint in the palm of your hand to activate the oils– (never muddle mint– it releases the chlorophyl in the stems which is bitter) and add it to the mix. Add ice and shake it up. Serve it on the rocks in a Collins glass. Garnish with some mint or a lime wedge.